I sleep a lot, during the day. I'm nocturnal. I don't have a choice you see. Football is usually late at night and it's just so much more peaceful to be online, read or listen to music at night.

I get bored very fast. I can't focus when I'm studying. Like after 10 minutes of studying, I have the urge to do something else. I can't play a game for more than a few months too, I just lose interest quickly.

I like spicy food.

I used to have a very very bad temper. I still do actually but it's so much better now, even I noticed.

If you wanna ask me out, bribe me with movie and Japanese food. That'll do.

Favourite artiste ever: Jay Chou.

I have a soft spot for babies and puppies.

I'm way too honest and straightforward.

I can't act because acting means having to be fake and I can't be fake.

I can't sing.

My favourite colour changes every now and then. For now, it's red and mint green.

Favourite beverage: water.

I like to paint my nails a lot.

I will never understand why some girls like to spend all their money on useless branded things. When like all other cheap handbags, the expensive ones rot too.

I'm actually quite sensitive to a lot of things but I just won't show it because I hate having people to feel bad for me. So I always act nonchalant.

I personally think I'm quite observant. I notice a lot of things because I like to watch people quietly, not in the creepy way though.

I like to look at the sky.

I've seen a meteor once.

I like guys with broad shoulders.

The first thing I look in people is their eyes. Or hair. Depends.

Batman > Spiderman.

Favourite cartoons are Tom & Jerry, Popeye the Sailorman, Scooby Doo and Spongebob Squarepants.

I don't eat tofu and mushrooms.

I love rain.

I don't know how to put on make up.

Labels: Random, tag

有时候，无论你做什么，有意往你坏的方面想的人，怎样都会把你单纯做的事情看得很坏。大家怎样想我是个讲话直接，不顾别人感受的人，我也无所谓。可是尊严对我来说很重要，你不可以怀疑我的品格。我是个连小小一个糖果纸都不会丢在地上的人，诚实告诉老师她改错我的考卷而因为失去那一分第一次不及格的人，违反我原则的事情我都不会做。我从小就是这样被父母教的。
Pre-cny:



Cny:








Cny back in Ipoh:

Labels: Celebration, Pic Spam

Do you see me? Do you hear me?

I literally have no idea what I'm doing these days. I don't even know what I feel about most things, but mostly transient emotions I regret having later. I'm easily annoyed and angered by these days, it's like some part of the old me is back? I really hate this about myself though. Who the fuq am I to be angry? Why do people have to follow the principles of my life? I guess I should just be less opinionated, step back and let them do whatever they want as long as it doesn't involve me. I shouldn't have a say to correct anyone's wrongs or to change anything about anyone. Because who the fuq am I, after all? I guess this way I will offend less people?

It's been awhile since I become the emotionless person among my friends. I still laugh and shiz but I don't usually show personal feelings at all. I really don't know what I want to be honest. I know I'm getting more and more 'grey' nowadays, saying things like "we're gonna die soon anyway, chill" or "I don't expect anything but I expect myself to die quite soon, prolly a car accident". I don't wanna give out the negative aura but I can't help it. It's not my fault I just don't have any hopes in life. Like, everyone is really eager to graduate and see the world, but I'm not. Not really. I just immense myself in the past and present. I don't think about the future (because I think there is none for me) neither do I think about whether I'm ever gonna get married and have kids. I just don't think about all these things. Why? Do I not deserve what other people have too? Well, I've long promised to not get jealous about what others have and not hope for anything.

I should continue fulfilling that promise to myself.

Labels: Daily rant

...I seem like someone else.

#nowplaying I don't know how to love him - Jesus Christ Superstar

Exam's in 2 days time. Although this is only a 5% exam, I still feel scared? Scared that I might fail even though I think I've worked hard enough. Ask anyone who knew me before my foundation studies. They'll tell you I'm one lazy ass, you'll see my forever sleeping in class with books stacked in front and my mum will tell you that I'm "the laziest person ever on earth". It's true. It is only after I've done badly in my first foundation semester test that I try to buck up for the second semester test and yeah, I improved quite a lot. I thought that was my limit. Well, clearly not. I've never ever worked this hard until I enter my MBBS programme. But it doesn't seem adequate?

Tough or not, I still gotta go through this shit. After this exam, I'll have another one month of studies before having to face my first professional MBBS exam. I will die, it is confirmed. Like, I struggle so much for only one-month worth of stuff. Imagine having to memorize one-year worth of knowledge. I may not survive. Wish me all the best. Dramatic bye-bye.

Also, I've been really confused. As my friends say, I really do over think. Not sometimes. Almost all the damn time.




From 2012 to 2013.








HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAVE A GREAT 2013!

Labels: Celebration, Pic Spam

Christmas doesn't hold any significance to me but seeing how everybody else is out with their friends and family, all dressed up for the occasion, being carefree and maybe, merely happy that they're not lonely, I feel a little empty.

Even my own family is eating out somewhere, probably just laughing at every small joke there is, gossiping about people, talking about random silly things. Usually mum, the sister and brother will stop eating once they're full, then dad will be pause after gobbling down the remaining dishes for some time to realise that everyone has stopped eating. He'll then be nagging in a cute way saying how everyone doesn't eat at all and make him eat everything, causing him to have indigestion later for sure. After dinner, they'd probably go for a drive around Ipoh. I'm imagining there'll be Christmas decorations around town, all ready for tomorrow. Clubs and restaurants everywhere will surely be full for everyone is taking this chance for all family members to gather around and have a good meal together.

I thought of painting my nails just for Christmas but, what for? No one is gonna see it anyway, no one is here around me anyway.

Labels: Celebrations, Random thoughts

People don't like opinionated people. Opinionated people don't like neutral people. Neutral people like everyone but secretly dislike opinionated people because they are too damn cowardly to express any sort of opinions at all for fear that people will actually notice them and dislike them. Gasp. Grow a pair and accept opinions. Not to say you have to accept them but just try to understand.

I know I've been told that I don't accept others' opinions and I think so too, now that somebody is so kind to remind me that only after I got bitched about that since god-knows-when. I'd really appreciate it if people are just more straightforward in things like that. I really don't mind. You don't see me hating all of you for doing this to me, do you? Because I just wanna prove that I'm the bigger man (or woman, not like it matters).

I deserve to get my mouth blasted off by a reverse bear trap. That'd be the only way you can shut me up. Or not. Because I can still type. 

Labels: Daily rant

JAY CHOU'S NEW SONGS OUT ON HITFM TODAY. Only 2 though. In first lecture today I was so restless and I was fidgeting the whole time because I couldn't wait for classes to end to listen to the audios of the songs omg. So I immediately went to a corner outside my lecture room and almost cried listening to the songs. So damn touching! Can't stop replaying them till now. Also happy that Jaysian tlist are as excited about his songs as I am :D







On a side note, it's been sometime since I actually walked under the rain like I just did. Usually I'm just pissed off if I ever had to do that especially when I'm in a hurry to go to classes or anywhere else. But without pressure of having to do anything afterwards, I actually enjoyed the brisk walk at the night market just now when it was raining.

I was happy, briefly.

Labels: Daily life, Jay Chou, Random thoughts

Not blaming the rain but maybe it did contribute to how moody I felt today. Lips too heavy to part and form useless words for daily conversations that I used to hate. Facial muscles too lazy to even form the slightest of smiles.

Things have been very confusing for me, so naturally I do my thing. Which is to cancel everything out and just ignore. I just choose to feel numb towards the particular issues so I don't have to feel. I find that I can't handle complicated feelings too much.

When I'm actually happy, I'd feel guilty because somehow I just feel like I don't deserve to be. I'd try all my best so that happiness won't be mine, at least temporarily. W h y? Why do I do this to myself? Do I really not deserve to be happy? Actually, yes I don't.

If you find me sigh every too often (which I myself won't ever notice and I'd deny it when you mention it to me), it probably means I have no idea what shit I'm feeling and am just feeling lost like a freaking lamb. That lump behind your throat when you wanna cry but you don't know what for. The need to just listen to sad songs so I'd have a reason as to why I'm feeling down. I try to make things simple but unfortunately, nothing goes my way. Or maybe I'm just an ungrateful bitch.

I'm sorry.

Labels: Daily rant