Probably this is the first time I ever let myself feel. Now that I'm not building an invisible wall to protect myself, now that I'm not forever in that numb state, now that I finally let go of the poker face for a moment, I realise that I don't want to ever leave home. I miss home already.

Who knows how long your siblings will be around for now until they leave for their studies? It's not gonna be long, I'm sure. My sister is finishing her SPM and my brother is gonna take his PMR next year. Time flies. Time flies.

We also have no idea how long will our parents will be there for us, each and every time we need them, each and every time we get in trouble, each and every time we just need somebody to talk to, somebody to give some advice, somebody to comfort us for things we know we did wrong. Only our parents can understand the wrong things you do sometimes, only they will forgive and take us back every time we let them down. No other outsiders will ever care for us and love us as much as our parents do. Sometimes, I just wanna give up everything to go back to Ipoh to be with them and take care of them instead of the other way round now that I've grown up.

I get scared sometimes thinking how alone I will be in this world without my family. I always think that without my family, I have no real friends, with zero person to talk to, with zero person to go home to. But at the end of it all, What is home without family? It's called a house, an empty shell without love, without people you love, without people who love you.

I admit that I don't have a real ambition. I'm fine with whatever. I wanna hurry and finish my studies so I can finally go back home for real.
I'm sure all of you studying do too.

Labels: Daily rant, Random thoughts

Labels: 2pm, Make believes

Labels: 2pm

AVAILABILITY





Hahah. Featured in this vid.

Labels: Videos

There's always a point in my busy daily routine when I just wanna do something really stupid, something I'll laugh off later or something I will never ever do when I'm sober. It's just that humans tend to like to stay in their comfort zones, lazing around doing what they do best, refusing to step out of their said comfort zone. I think that I need excitement in my life since I'm like a socially awkward penguin although I improved much since last year. I need to meet more people, I need to do something that is totally adventurous, I need a life.

Firstly, I need to go on a trip all on my own. I really want to! But my mum won't even let me go to the movies myself. What the. I can see the 'No' look on her face already. My dad, worse. He will never ever approve. My life is sad like this. If I think this through, I will seriously opt to stay in front of the tv or computer, spazzing over Jay Chou and all my other KPop people. I will rather grab a nice novel and drink a cup of Starbucks on a rainy day and spend my whole day like that. I'm really more of a introvert. Even the sport I play is indoors: table tennis. Even though I know volleyball and tennis and whatever else outdoors, I still prefer ping pong. Sigh. It used to be my life. Not anymore.

Secondly, I need to try space-shot. Although I think I will die when the damn thing finally shoots me up into the sky. I really will die of heart attack if I ever get on the thing! I have serious acrophobic( the fear of heights ). I can actually go on normal roller-coasters and even the new superman thing(!!) but nope, not space-shot. One time, my friends forced me to go on the Flying Chairs even though I wasn't mentally ready to go on it, I cried. Yep, like a total loser. Okay. Let's all forget about that fact.

Then, I wanna work and buy myself something expensive that I will really treasure. This is because I haven't actually really worked. The experience of working in my dad's clinic doesn't count because umm, it's unofficial! I never worked for a boss that will scold his workers yet or the kind of bosses who are really nice. Sigh. My life lacks experience. Why am I so sad? Now I need to think what stupid expensive things I will buy. A white grand piano! Uhh okay maybe that's too expensive. A phone? Maybe?

I really wanna continue doing my diploma for piano. I have this urge only when I'm busiest. That's me. Always distracted. What the. My piano skills suck to the max. I cannot do perfect sight-reading to save my life. I need to relearn guitar as well. I don't even remember the chords except for C major and G major. Urgh. #fail

I shall do all these secretly next time.

Labels: Babbles, Random thoughts

Okay this time round I'm going to offend people again, specifically kiasu people. So please don't read if you're kiasu. Whatever I said below is based on the people I've met. Sry but I'm just too annoyed to not blog about this.

I get it if some people are naturally 'kiasu' as in scared to lose. I get it if you wanna win all the time. I get it but I will never ever accept that kind of behaviour. I just get thoroughly annoyed.

It's not like you'll be any dumber if you share what you know to others. It's not like you'll lose that piece of information once you tell other people. You have to understand that by sharing knowledge sometimes, you get more in return. I just don't get it why people are so scared to share what they know. As if they will be dumber that way. Knowledge is technically not money. If you won't share your money, that is totally acceptable. Wtf #irrelevant.

I used to have friends like that and still do. Conversations between us are usually:

Me: Can you explain this to me?
Le kiasu friend: Oh I also don't know.


Me: What did you get for the test?
Le kiasu friend: Oh I forgot.
(FTS YOU FORGET YOUR MARKS YOU GOT 5 MINS AGO, CONGRATS, YOU CAN STOP STUDYING WITH THAT SHITTY MEMORY)


Me: Do you know what's coming out for trials? (SPM last year)
Le kiasu friend: I haven't even sat for the test. How would I know? I'm not the one who set the trials paper.
(FTS IM ASKING FOR LIKE, TIPS TEACHERS GAVE. NOT THE EXACT QUESTIONS. WHY SO KIASU?)


Me: Do you know what this means?
Le kiasu friend: /shrugs/

Btw I hate people who shrug all the damn time. I don't get it. Is it so difficult to say that you're not sure or unclear. A shrug is simply a rude and lazy way to say that you don't wanna tell whatever you know. With this kind of behaviour, even you're a prime minister in the future, no  one will freaking like you. And in the future, your relationships with people is very important. But uh usually kiasu people are socially awkward because they are too kiasu to chat, too kiasu to waste a little bit of time bonding with people, too kiasu to realise that sometimes only studying won't help in the future. You will need friends.

And when you wanna talk, le kiasu friend will just ignore you when they wanna be kiasu and bury their heads in their books. Whatever okay I forgive them. But when le kiasu friend decides that the lecture is useless, they will keep disturbing you and talking bullshit when all you wanna do is to listen to bullshit lecturer talking crap(on purpose HAHA).

Thank god I don't have kiasu people as friends. They are just acquaintances. People I will forget and not miss after awhile.

Le kiasu friends, this is the impact you have on other people you think are your friends --> NONE. You just enter their lives as their kiasu classmates and leave as nobody. Nobody will miss you because you don't make your presence precious to them. All you care about is how many As you get, how many secret informations about exams you have and how you get things done your way.

#TROLLING

Labels: Daily rant

I'm going to offend a lot of people in a relationship so if you cannot handle the truth, please don't read.


I wrote this based on some of the scenes I've seen when my friends are in a relationship. And by the way, not out of jealousy. Lol funny.

Couples get together and start being cheesy and stick to each other forever, like there's nothing else they want and need. I don't care how you wanna ignore the rest of your friends, how change who you are for someone who might not be with you forever, how you spend thousands and thousands on someone that might break up with you, how you spend so much time on someone who might be not for you. Please just don't utter words that promise forever when the future is still blurry.

I don't understand people who change partners like their ex-es don't mean anything to them at all. Like their ex-es didn't occupy their minds and hearts. When A and B get together, they love with all their hearts and promise to be together forever. Then when they break up, A go with C. Then A will see how good is C compared to B and complain how bad B was. And start all the loving and promising routine wit C. I lost count how many partners some of my friends been with and how many times they start this routine all over again. It doesn't make sense to me. Why? Are these people all heartless? Why don't you sit and wait for someone who is really right for you, then only you should start loving with all your strength and the forever thing is possible?

I hate how shallow some people can be. You are trapped in a camp or in a same school compound or a same college. PS: Some people just cannot live without a boyfriend/girlfriend. They hunt for partners and start being very happy together. And then when they end their school life, they move on to college and find someone hotter and better(apparently).They dump their partners because long distance relationship doesn't work blablablabla and get together with the person they met in college.


Very smart. I am totally speechless. Because, later on they find that the ex-boyfriend they dumped is actually better than the new boyfriend. They then dump the new guy and go back with the ex. Oh my holy cow. What is this messed-up shit? I don't get it! Stay with one person. Oh god.

I just cannot accept how people take relationships so lightly. If I don't feel like I can not be bored and annoyed during the relationship with a certain person, I don't accept him at all. I have the right to do that okay. This is because I get bored and annoyed easily especially when people try to control and change me oh gosh I am annoyed all over now. FTS. Go find someone who is bored so she can handle your bullshit. I am too old for that. Not to mention too tired and busy living my life on the internet.

This is why I'm still single. Thanks to how serious I take relationships and thanks to how easily bored and annoyed I get.

Labels: Daily rant

Loving this song. I envy their love.

Labels: Videos

:D

Labels: 2pm, wooyoung

Peace out :)

Labels: Daily life

There's always this one person you find annoying because of that person's personality. It's not completely bad, it's just more towards the bad side and I cannot tolerate fakers as in people who fake their emotions because they try to not offend anyone. Who. The. Hell. Cares. You wanna be nice, be it. You wanna complain, complain to the damn person. Please don't be all nicey nicey in front of the person who needed your help then turn around and complain to someone else that you are upset that the person needed your help. Now, I'm confused. Why are there still such cowards in this world? If you don't even have the courage to speak openly, I really don't know what you're good for. I don't think we should care so much about what other people think about us. You should just be you. You should be open and speak your mind. I'm not telling you to go around offending people like nobody's business like me, but you can at least speak your mind, nicely. No one will ever mind. But now, in our eyes, you're a freakin coward. Nothing more. A lot less. You complain non-stop. I don't get it. If someone needs your help and you cannot do it or you don't wanna do it, reject in a nice way. I don't get it why people nowadays don't dare to reject or utter a word as simple as 'No'. I do this so often that when I say 'No', nobody will even ask why anymore. Because I said 'No' and that's the end of our conversation. I hate it when people try to pressurize me into doing something I don't like or not comfortable in doing. I just hate it. Don't annoy me any further. When you do nothing wrong, I'm fine but when you act so much like a coward, I prefer to think that you're invisible.

Talk to the hand

Labels: Daily rant

Omg 你好吗(the first song) is so damn amazing! Best heartbreaking song of the year. Omg his voice, the lyrics, the melody. Gosh /crying/ cannot handle ;~;

Btw, I'm going back to Ipoh this weekend. Gonna blog when I reach /HOME/ :)

Labels: Jay Chou, Videos

Seriously loving these songs! Omg. Mine Mine was stuck in my head for the whole day today. The MV is so cool! Look at that amazing white piano and his k-pop style of dance. Super loving 哇靠/惊叹号! Rahahaha love the animated MV and the style of the song.

Labels: Jay Chou, Videos