Sunday, December 26, 2010 // 0 comment(s)
‘ I’ll make you mine one day,’ That was what Hyunjoong said before leaving me forever, leaving me to be together with the man I loved, Jungmin.
A YEAR BEFORE.
‘Jungmin ya, why do you keep throwing nonsense parties? I don’t even enjoy birthday parties that much,’ I said with a slight pout. I looked around me and saw celebrities tripping over each other, doing body shots and kissing random people with no fear of the paparazzi, at all. I rubbed my eyes, weary of how celebrities did things and how they thought that they are gods when in fact, they were just entertainers, with gifts to sing or dance or merely talk. As Jungmin was pulled away by an actress I didn’t even bother knowing, I stumbled through the crazy horde that formed around the bar and managed to finally inhale air that weren’t all polluted by cigarette smoke. I closed my eyes and then felt a really gentle arm closing around my waist, pulling me closer and then before I could even see who that gentle arm belong to, that person stole a kiss from me by gently smashing our lips together. I almost melted into that kiss with the stranger but it wasn’t a stranger when I opened my eyes. It was Hyunjoong. Hyunjoong kissed me. I enjoyed Hyunjoong’s kiss. I said, ‘Sorry,’pushed Hyunjoong away and went back to the party and searched for Jungmin.
I needed Jungmin. I needed Jungmin to tell me it was alright, it was okay, it was a mistake. I couldn’t stand myself, I became just like all these celebrities, kissing anyone and everyone else they probably didn’t even know. But where the hell is Jungmin? That was when I saw him, leaning over the bar counter, locking his beautiful lips with an idol star from Caramel or something similar to it. You know, when people talked about heartbreaking, I never knew you could really literally hear your heart break, bit by bit. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from that scene that I knew would make me sick even after ten years. That was also when I felt the same gentle strong arm hugged my shoulder and began to lead me away, away from the party, away from that building, away from Jungmin and all the pain he caused me.
That one week was: Hyunjoong, tears, sleepless nights, tears, phone calls,and Hyunjoong. Nothing from Jungmin except for a text.
I ignored that and filled my week with more tears.
A YEAR LATER.
After that week, Jungmin came to me and begged for forgiveness. I forgave him and continued loving him, but to my horror, I realized that it wasn’t Jungmin that I talk to when I’m saddest anymore, I automatically dial #1 on my phone and #1 was Hyunjoong to me. I didn’t admit that to anybody, not even to myself, what more Jungmin. Jungmin didn’t know, Hyunjoong didn’t either, I wasn’t sure myself. This went on until Hyunjoong confessed, on his knees, a ring and a sincere heart I couldn’t bear to break. But I was with Jungmin. Hyunjoong didn’t accept the rejection well and swore to return two years later to claim me as his.
2 YEARS LATER.
The wind was chilly on that fateful winter night. I wrapped my beige coat closer to contain the warmth because I may still needed to be alive for my own wedding. Jungmin. He proposed. I said yes. I didn’t love him anymore. Him, more girls, more random kisses. He said it was to excite his life even more.
‘You understand this, don’t you?’
Then he went on with his sickening lifestyle I had to bear each painful day. I wanted to call off the wedding but he had seemed sincere when proposing but not after. I didn’t know what to think.
When Hyunjoong returned and met up with me, he said he had heard what Jungmin did to me. He practically shouted all Jungmin’s sins and that caused me to be on the brink of breaking down.
‘Leave him. Or I’ll make him leave you,’ Hyunjoong said, stern.
‘No. I ca-ca-can’t. We’re getting married.’ This was when an unfaithful tear slowly slide down my face and Hyunjoong briefly flicked it away.
‘He doesn’t care about you. I do. Trust me.’
I couldn’t take it anymore and nodded as hard as I could with more tears threatening to spill. Hyunjoong inched closer and embraced me In the warmest hug ever. Slowly, he bent down and we relived the kiss we both shared on that party night. I love him.