Because I never get what I want..
Tuesday, March 6, 2012 // 0 comment(s)

We all have the same problem, don't we? We feel like we don't get what we want, we feel like what we do is never enough, we feel like we're always on the losing end of everything we do, we rarely get praises, we feel like we fail as a person just because we fail in one single thing that will seem so insignificant when we go on further in our respective lives.

Or maybe it's just me.

It's because we always want more than what we can get that we forgot to appreciate the little things in life that we do get. We forgot to take a moment to look at the pretty flowers by the roadside throughout our journey, we forgot how amazing it is that we can walk while others are struggling with even more disabilities, we forgot how thankful we should be even to wake up the next day and are still breathing. We don't usually notice that we already accomplish a lot along the way until way way further in the future.

I'm not excluded in this situation. I still think I don't get what I want, I still think I'm lacking at a lot of things when others are already on the way to succeed, I still think I don't deserve whatever I wish for because I just don't give enough no matter how determined I am, no matter how hardworking I am. It doesn't pay off like it does to everybody else.

Why am I not everybody else?

Is there a point in your life where you just suddenly feel energy draining out of your body along with your initial determination and enthusiasm as if at that moment when your tired body sag, nothing else matters? I cannot let this happen. I will just fight back harder. I don't want to even see disappointment flutter across my parents' faces when they know I failed. Because I won't and that's that.

I may lose a battle, but I promise I will win the war.

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