Its not forbidden.
Friday, April 16, 2010 // 0 comment(s)

That ache of reliving your pain.

He watched her leave. He remembered his eyes were filled with tears he didn't want her to see. He loved her so much. She just simply took her coat, turned her back and walked out the door. She walked out of his life, bringing a string of the remainder pieces of his heart. She just didn't care. He even thought he saw the faint flash of joy in her eyes when he broke the news to her. He knew it wasn't his fault but he didn't bother to explain. All because she didn't care.

"Earth to Heechul!" Sungmin waved his hand in front of him. Looking at Sungmin, Heechul decided he would forget about that woman, that woman so broke his heart.

The confusing twists and turns of the maze. The anticipation of each junction. The love that made the maze, has trapped him within itself.

He was startled. His heartbeat was pacing fast. So fast he felt dizzy. He watched his life flashed past before his eyes. It was as if he was watching a movie on his life. That felt weird. But this movie was different. It was over within seconds. His mother, his dog, his first love. Then it all went black.

He heard Sungmin. He slowly opened his eyes and saw patches of black on his cornea. Then he saw Sungmin's familiar flushed smile, he was watching him, looking concerned. He felt better already. Sungmin gently touched his cheek, pushing his hair off his face.

It's not forbidden, is it?

Now only he realised that he was still at home. On the red couch. He wanted so much for Sungmin to hold him in his arms. But he didn't know what it would do to their friendship and what other members will think of them. He felt that pang of disappointment he always felt when Sungmin walked away. Sungmin went and brought him a cup of warm water. His hands touched Sungmin's and immediately he felt that electricity but Sungmin didn't seem to feel anything.

Is it wrong to feel?

Sungmin lied down next to him on the couch. Gently touching him. Heechul hugged himself, feeling cold. Sungmin sensed that and hugged him. Not as tightly as a lover would but not as casual as a friendly hug. Heechul didn't know what to think.

What about communication?

"Hyung, how are you now?" Sungmin turned to face him. They were a breath away from each other and Heechul felt breathless and that familiar pacing up of his heart was happening again. He felt trapped in a maze carved of Sungmin's soothing smile, caring sweet words and Sungmin himself. He liked that maze. He didn't bother answering Sungmin, instead he gave himself that satisfaction of being able to do anything he wanted when he was sick.

Free from that maze and fall right into another.

They used to kiss each other all the time. For fun. But it was nothing like this. Intense, full of anticipation of what was going to happen next and what was going to happen after. Sungmin was taken aback at first but soon he opened up and let Heechul bring him anywhere he wanted and somewhere he never would have believed he would be. They fell back breathless with smirks on their faces. Heechul no longer felt trapped in that maze of the forbidden love but now trapped in Sungmin and his arms. Much better, Heechul thought and brought his lips back on Sungmin's and they were on a ride. Together.

Barrier? What's that?

It is no more forbidden.

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