What I should say more often is thank you & I love you.

I was lying in bed when I suddenly thought about how much my parents had done for me these past 20 years. Okay when I was a baby, of course they liked taking care of me because I was innocent, cute and never talked back at them. But now when I'm all grown up, I'm not exactly the best daughter you can get but yet they're still doing so much for me even when they know they might not get anything back from this investment in the form of me.

I'm not the brightest of all students. I don't really listen to their advice when they tell me to sleep early and eat my meals regularly. I disobey them by going out quite often even when they're worried about my safety especially if I go out at night. I'm literally a very average person/daughter/student when compared to my siblings.

My mum never complained when fetching me to and fro school and the massive amount of tuition classes I used to go to because she said I don't give her stress and because I don't complain even when she's late. She expected so little from me so all I could do was live up to her little expectation.

My dad cried after sending me off to National Service because he was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get used to the life there. Before I left, he told me to not act like such a princess (I used to use my fan a lot because I hated the heat a lot). But obviously I did survive and I even enjoyed the life there. I bet he was surprised and relieved that I could make friends and could adapt to the NS life. Well, to be fair, I only couldn't stand sweating when I wasn't doing sports. When I was marching or jogging, I didn't mind the sweat/heat at all. It was all very enjoyable. I loved the dorm life. He must be glad knowing that.

I also can bet that my dad was very glad to know I wanted to do medicine (besides journalism). He encouraged me to sign up even though I thought my SPM results weren't good enough for the course. My parents brought me to Kampar for the Open Day and to sign up for MBBS. Of course they were glad to know I got in.

They tried very hard to find me a place to stay in PJ. I know how spoiled I sound now because my parents do everything for me. They found a place but when we went and had a look, it was terrible. My parents didn't give up. They immediately went on to hunt for other rooms. We finally found one room which wasn't all that good but at least it was better than the first one. My mum cried after leaving me there because to be honest, I've never stayed in a worse place than that. Even NS was better. But I stayed strong and didn't want to fuss about it. I didn't think about how horrible that place was until I graduated my foundation course.

I didn't want to worry them with little friend problems etc that bothered me but one time I felt really bullied so I called my mum while I was crying my eyes out. She said things that made me feel better and loved. I learned to be stronger because really, the only people who are true to you are your family members.

Anyway, after my foundation, I had to move to Sg Long for my degree course. Long time ago, parents bought a condo unit here just for investment. So they spent a shitload of money furnishing this unit because I'm gonna be staying there. It's super pretty and so comfortable. I'm so blessed. They didn't know I'm only gonna be staying here for 2 years.

So, now I'm going to have to move to Ampang. My mum tried her best to find a room for me to rent and even searched for a unit to buy. My family are not as rich as people think we are. We're more like above average? Especially now that they spent some amount of money to furnish their new old folk's home. They barely have any money left to buy a condo unit, but they did. I'm really touched.

My mum pays my phone bills and electricity bills (mostly in advance to save extra trips in the future) because she doesn't want me to waste money dealing with all these. I know how spoiled I am in this area. I really appreciate everything they've done for me.

I'm really going to have a hard time repaying them but I will.

Labels: Random thoughts