Tuesday, December 17, 2013 // 0 comment(s)
As much as I hate being labelled as a typical girl, I think I am. And this is sad.
Because I find many girls annoying by being fickle-minded, attention-seeking and have high expectations for people.
I am very fickle-minded. I can't make decisions in a split second. I have to think through things a lot because like everyone else, I hate regretting. Most girls are super fickle-minded about everything, even down to what food to order. I literally can hold a menu and spend the next 15 minutes staring into nowhere weighing my choices. Gah. I feel annoyed at myself sometimes too. However, if I've already made a choice, I force myself to only see the good and not the bad so I won't regret my decision. That's how I roll.
I'm glad to say that I'm not even close to my own definition of attention-seeking. Yea sure I take pictures and upload it on Instagram but seriously even if my pictures don't get a lot of likes, I'll still be happy if I really like my picture. It really is just for my own viewing pleasure. Once upon a time, I can't wear bright-coloured clothing because I feel exposed and vulnerable. I feel seen. I know right? I had an issue with being in the center of attention. I like being invisible to people. Only sometimes because once I get ignored one too often, I begin to wish people can see me shining blah blah blah and I'll be complaining about my looks, why do I look so normal blah blah blah (this is one of the things I'm fickle-minded about). I'm so annoying.
3. High expectations
I always tell myself to not have high expectations for people because seriously no one is ever up to our expectations and who am I to have expectations. What do I expect anyway? Like I expect people to know when I want attention and when I don't. How would anybody know that? My close friends should also know that I don't like surprises. Actually it's mainly because I don't like to be caught off guard and be embarrassed. And no prank gifts please, I'll really not forgive you. But I really like nice surprise gifts that people have given their thought to. Like, they've actually been thinking about what to get me and what I'd like. That's nice. However, once I tell people that I don't like surprises and gifts without explaining why, they stop trying to give me surprises and gifts. Then I'll be wondering why am I so under-appreciated blahblahblah.
Even I don't understand myself, how can anybody else? Hah.